PANSY
Exploring the complexity of identity through dreamy fuzz-rock anthems.
Influenced by the raw textures of lofi-punk, multi-instrumentalist and producer Pansy walks the line between profound honesty and simplistic spontaneity. Writing largely about her experience as a trans woman, Vivian McCall uses sonic vignettes to capture the trials of self-discovery. Somehow finding a relatability in her specific experience, Vivian’s music transcends any one struggle, creating endearing anthems easily enjoyed by anyone.
Her debut self-titled album Pansy is streaming now.
All photos by Emma Collins of Jungle Green
Self taught, experimental, and home-based, Vivian’s limitations as a creator have become her edge as a DIY musician. After years as a core member of Chicago’s retro-revival rock group Jungle Green, Vivian emerged as a solo artist writing and recording under the name Pansy. Describing her songwriting as an “escape”, Vivian “felt a need to start writing” around the time she began transitioning. With a journalistic background, Vivian’s primary concern with her writing is honesty. Asking herself questions like “is this lyric true and honest?” Pansy captures an emotional rawness in the context of relaxed, dreamy melodies.
Vivian’s debut record Pansy was an experiment both in lyrical expression and analog recording. After recording with Jungle Green in the studio of Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, Vivian fell in love with the process of analog recording, saying she “Spent some money that I didn’t have on this tape machine” that Rado recommended. Recording Pansy on 8-track tape from the comfort of her Ravenswood apartment, Vivian captured the endearing simplicity of tape. “The limitation of 8-tracks and the rawness really matched what I was feeling,” Vivian describes as she “took a step back from being complicated and tried to be simple...
“I don’t wanna spend time trying to manipulate what came really naturally. The simplicity is so part of it.”
Photo via Earth Libraries
Pulling inspiration from Joe Meek, Liz Phair, and The Magnetic Fields, Vivian hits the “clean but raw” sound that marks the post-punk and dream-pop scene. Her clean guitar tones punch through the washy backdrop of dead air fuzz from her tape machine. Mastered by songwriter and producer Kevin Basko, Pansy is polished without losing its rawness.
Despite clear themes of femininity and the exploration of self, the narratives of Pansy were realized slowly over time. Vivian explains her process as a “stumble around in the dark” until she finds the core of a song, and that the best songs are written “amidst a really powerful emotion.” Vivian’s music is a catalyst in her process to “understanding who I was, understanding what it felt like to be a human being.” Pansy addresses assumptions and misconceptions about the trans experience in a simultaneously explicit, and vague way. Debunking the notion that trans people are born with the knowledge of who they are, Vivian critiques the unreasonable expectations that society places on Queer people and their sense of self. And though some themes may remain unclear, Vivian expresses “I don’t really want to explain this to cis-poeple because I don’t care.” While dealing with heavy themes, Vivian still finds a way to emanate the pure feeling of joy in her music. Vivian explains, “I love riding the lines between being really genuine and really corny” as she embraces her “cartoonish” tendencies as a songwriter.
Photo via Earth Libraries